


A Little Bit Of Light

by Tlspenthusiast



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: SADSADSAD, connor Murphy - Freeform, dear evan hansen - Freeform, overdose tw, suicide TW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 01:33:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11681235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tlspenthusiast/pseuds/Tlspenthusiast
Summary: Based on one of the cut songs from the Dear Evan Hansen OBC soundtrack. Connor breaks and overdoses. (wow i wish there was a less harsh way to say that soz)





	A Little Bit Of Light

**Author's Note:**

> yo this describes connor's overdose and stuff so if you're triggered by that kind of stuff i don't suggest reading this!! i'm gonna start posting deh/bmc things on here so u can read those instead!! stay safe!!

There were times when he really was happy. Sure, they didn’t come along very often, but when they did, everyone around him seemed happier. They all saw the light shining through.

Connor’s light would get more and more rare as the time flew by. He was having less happy moments, and instead had more breakdowns, outbursts, and lows.

Soon enough, you were lucky if you saw him downstairs, out of his room. He would lock himself in his room, sometimes for days at a time, only to come out for a minute or two to go to the bathroom. He was getting devastatingly skinny, not to mention his greasy, knotted hair. 

Cynthia had tried, and failed, to get him to talk to her a couple times. No luck.

She wouldn’t have to worry about that for much longer, though.

 

•••

 

“Fuck, can you just leave me alone?” Connor shouted from the top of the staircase.

“No, Connor! You’ve locked yourself up for months, please just tell me what’s going on!” Cynthia yelled back, exasperated. 

“Why? It’s not like you’d do anything about it! Hell, you haven’t for the past six years,” Connor shot back, tears forming in his eyes. Cynthia groaned, opened her mouth to say something, but stopped when Connor slammed his bedroom door.

This was it. He was giving up. What was the point of sticking around if he was just gonna be ignored?

Connor grabbed his phone and threw it against the wall in a fit of anger. He listened for a reaction from anyone downstairs - none came. Of course. Thus, he dug through his dresser, looking to see if he had anything left to smoke. He didn’t.

That only set him off more. He threw on his jacket and stormed out of his room and down the stairs. As quietly as he could, he snuck into the bathroom and opened up the medicine cabinet.

He grabbed a bottle of painkillers and a handful of Zoe’s antidepressants. He grabbed one of his dad’s beers from the fridge, making a beeline for the front door. 

Cynthia stood up to try to stop him - this had happened before, which only led to Connor being hospitalized for a month - but Connor ran out, slamming the door behind him.

He didn’t know where he was going, but as he wandered around the neighborhood, he took the pills out of his pocket. He stopped, staring at this. Am I really gonna do this? he thought. 

Fuck it. Who’s gonna care?

Connor dumped the pills in his mouth, washing them down with the alcohol. He sighed, and continued walking.

He didn’t know much that happened after that, but suddenly he was in the park. He trudged towards the swingset, sitting down on one. He slowly rocked the swing back and forth. His breathing became heavier, to the point where he was almost hyperventilating. He was shaking, too.

He was happy.

Connor felt happy for once. His head felt cloudy, sure, and he couldn’t really recall what was happening, but he felt great. 

The high ended after a few quick minutes, when Connor found himself doubled over, vomiting. He gasped for a breath, realizing how slow he was breathing. 

Fuck, was this happening? He didn’t think it would happen so fast - or actually happen at all. This was what he wanted though, right? This was the only answer…

The euphoria hit one last time, and Connor thought,

It’s about fuckin time, yeah?

He slumped down against the poles of the swingset. His head fell forward, chin on his chest, as his breathing stopped.

 

•••

 

“Breaking news: Teenage boy found dead in a park. Police say it was a suspected overdose.”

“Tonight at 6:00: Seventeen year old Connor Murphy was confirmed dead at the scene last night, EMT’s later found traces of painkillers and opioids in his bloodstream.”


End file.
